A woman I know saw this image on facebook and brought it to my attention:
My first thought was, obviously, that the man who posted it is disgusting. Then we discussed the implication behind this message. Not only does it convey that women are their husband’s property, but it attempts to normalize sexual assault and make it a joke to be shared among friends.
The fact that this is considered funny in some circles, and that people are comfortable passing this around on the internet, reminds me of how cautious women have to be every day of our lives. Furthermore, as parents we need to take a good look at what we are promoting on social media. Most parents I know who allow their children to have social media accounts do so with one caveat, they must “friend” their parents so we can monitor them and ensure they are using social media safely.
Do parents who post these things comb through their profiles when their child reaches an acceptable age to create their own online identity? Probably not. Parents with public profiles may find that their children have already seen their posts while perusing the internet.
This means young people are seeing images that promote abusive relationships between spouses by people that they look up to before they are even old enough to experience their first adult relationship.
It makes me sad and scared for young people in my life, knowing that there are people in this town and my age group circulating these messages without a second thought for today’s youth. These types of messages affirm and normalize the belief of abusive individuals that their spouse is required to provide them with gratification sexually, as well as for their entertainment, at any given time. Do you want your daughter to laugh when someone does this to her? Because posting something like this says you do.
The most remarkable thing about this post is that I have yet to see anyone point out that they have a problem with it. We’re comfortable to scroll through news feeds ignoring these posts. There are so many awful things in the world that we tune them out and keep scrolling and look past it to that which appeals to us. I regularly do the same thing, but this one struck me as a blatant call to assault your wife as you see fit, and I couldn’t let it go.
Social media is a dangerous thing, and I’m watching like never before to ensure I use my voice as a woman and a mother to let it be known these things aren’t okay, and distance myself from the poster, as well as the people who like the post.
A person’s actions on social media dictate how I feel and act when I’m around them in person. If I see a group of men hitting like or laughing emojis to a post like this, you can bet I’ll be aware of that if I ever find myself in a social situation with them. LIke it or not social media is a snapshot of your beliefs, and I believe it is necessary to protect my family from being exposed to the kind of people who perpetuate these dangerous opinions. I take the job of raising my boys seriously. The last thing I want is for them to see garbage like this, and think that it’s okay.
